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1 Dollar and 100 Dollar Bill * [-back-]
One day, a one dollar bill and a hundred dollar bill got folded together and began talking about their life experiences.

The hundred dollar bill began to brag:

"I have had a great life," he said.

- I have been to all the big hotels, Donald Trump himself used me at his casino,

- I have been in the wallets of Fortune 500 board members,

- I have flown from one end of the country to the other!

- I have even been in the wallet of two Presidents of the United States, and once when Princess Diana visited the US, she used me to buy a packet of gum."

In awe, the dollar humbly responded, "Gee, nothing like that has ever happened to me, ...but I have been to church a lot!"

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A Clown's Code of Ethics * [-back-]
I will keep my acts, performance and behavior in good taste while I am in costume and makeup.

I will remember, at all times, that I have been accepted as a member of the clown club to provide others, principally children, with clean clown-comedy entertainment., etc., etc.

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A. P. Gouthey * [-back-]
Make no mistake, my friend, it takes more than money to make men rich.

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Adlai Stevenson * [-back-]
There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.

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Alan Alda * [-back-]
It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary be rich.

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An Hour of Time * [-back-]
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

"Yeah sure, what is it?"

"Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

"That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.

"I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.

"If you must know, I make $35 an hour."

"Oh, "the little boy replied, with his head down.

Looking up, he said,
"Daddy, may I please borrow $10?"

The father was furious,
"If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. I work long hard hours everyday and don't have time for such childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. May be there was something he really needed to buy with that $10 the man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" he asked

"No Daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on your earlier," said the man.

"It's been a long day, and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's that $10 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling, "Oh, thank you Daddy!" he yelled. Then reaching under his pillow he pulled out some money

The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. As the little boy slowly counted out his money, the father grumbled, "Why do you want more money if you already have some?".

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied, "Daddy, I have $35 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

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Anatomy of Money * [-back-]
Modern United States paper money is the result of three separate printings.

The first printing is the green reverse of the note.

The second printing produces the black elements of the face of the note including most of the artwork, the portrait, series year, plate position numbers, check number, and the the two official Treasury signatures.

The third printing adds the Overprint consisting of the Serial Numbers, and Treasury Seal, District Seal (or Universal Seal on denomination of $5.00 and greater from Series 1996 and up) and the District Numbers.

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Andrew Mellon * [-back-]
"Gentlemen prefer bonds."

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Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) * [-back-]
Money is human happiness in the abstract: he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes his heart entirely to money.

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Arts and Crafts Idea: Foam Sheet Glasses Case * [-back-]
Are you a camp director, teacher, or homeschool mom looking for a new arts and crafts idea for your kids? Or maybe you are a recreation director at a senior center or nursing home and could use a new project. Either way, this arts and crafts idea will be interesting and fun for all. This glass case can be used, given as a gift, or converted into a necklace purse.

To make the glasses case, you will need the following simple materials: a square of craft foam, plastic or large blunt needles, lanyard lace or thick yarn. Cut two rectangles from the foam, each 3-1/2 inches (9 cm.) by 6 inches (15 cm.).

With a hole punch, make holes on three sides of each rectangle, leaving one short side unpunched. Make the holes 1/2 inch apart and allow at least 1/4 inch between the hole and the edge of the craft foam. The holes need to line up so that the two pieces can be laced together. If you are preparing the craft for small children, you should make the holes yourself. Otherwise, the crafters can do this step if you have enough pairs of hole punches.

At this point the crafters can cut decorative shapes from other colors of craft foam, or you can buy sets of ready-cut foam shapes. If you are doing the craft at a special event, like vacation Bible school, choose shapes that echo the theme of the event. For instance, if the school or camp has a cowboy theme, find shapes that fit well, such as boots, cowboy hats, and stars. Let the kids choose the shapes they like and glue on as desired. You might also like to provide beads or sequins to glue on as well, especially if the crafters are a little older.

The next step in this arts and crafts idea is to thread the plastic needle with the yarn or lanyard lace. Yarn might be a little easier to handle, but lanyard lace is shiny and attractive. In a pinch, some teachers of small children use a bobby pin as a needle. It is certainly a safe alternative. Simply loop the yarn through the opening and use the open end of the bobby pin as if it were the point of the needle. The children can now begin to lace the front and back of the glasses case together.

To turn this arts and crafts idea into a necklace purse, simply attach a piece of lanyard lace to each corner making a long handle. Kids will enjoy using this case as a place to store secret notes and small objects. If they'd rather, they can give the glasses case to a parent, grandparent, or friend who wears glasses. Either way, this arts and crafts idea will be interesting for all.

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Benjamin Franklin * [-back-]
Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.

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Billy Graham * [-back-]
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.

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Blonde Millionaire * [-back-]
A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left. The next question will give you the million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

Is it...

A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush

"Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."

Barbara: "It's a cuckoo."

Regis: "You're sure? You can walk with the $500,000 or play on for the million."

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C - Cuckoo."

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Absolutely!"

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C -Cuckoo.

Well....you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS Here is your check.

You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping their champagne.

Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"

"It was so simple," Barbara replied, "Everybody knows that cuckoos live
in clocks."

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Bo Derek * [-back-]
Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

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Bring in the Clowns * [-back-]
J.S. Clown and all the other clowns here at Funny Money Bank, wanted to share the wonderful world of clowns with you. So here you will find a wide range of clown resources, pictures and information. There's something for everyone, even those who "Wanna Be A Clown". Click Here for more...

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Cal Thomas * [-back-]
Squeezing our money out of politicians is more difficult than squeezing blood from a turnip. To paraphrase an Oscar Hammerstein love song, once they have found a way to take our money, they never let it go.

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Cash Only Please * [-back-]
It can buy a house, but not a home.
It can buy a bed, but not sleep.
It can buy a clock, but not time.
It can buy you a book, but not knowledge.
It can buy you a position, but not respect.
It can buy you medicine, but not health.
It can buy you blood, but not life.
It can buy you sex, but not love.

So you see, money isn't everything...

I tell you all this because I am your friend, and as your friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...

So send me all your money, and I will suffer for you.
A truer friend than me you will never find...

CASH ONLY, PLEASE !

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Characteristics of U.S. Currency * [-back-]
Three types or classes of U.S. paper currency are in use today. The most numerous--accounting for 99 percent of the total value in circulation--are Federal Reserve Notes. Most of the remainder are United States Notes and Silver Certificates, which are occasionally seen but are no longer produced.

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Christmas Craft: Make Bead and Pipe Cleaner Ornaments * [-back-]
Christmas ornaments made from ordinary pipe cleaners and inexpensive acrylic beads are very pretty and easy to make. They look quite impressive yet are easy enough for small children to make. This is one Christmas craft idea to use again and again. Older people will enjoy making this Christmas craft, too, which can be varied to make a number of different sparkling ornaments for your Christmas tree.

To make the bead and pipe cleaner ornaments, you need common pipe cleaners in desired colors and acrylic beads. Two types of beads are particularly effective when strung on pipe cleaners. One type are called sunburst beads, but are also known as paddlewheel beads, snowflake beads, or starburst beads. These beads have six faceted paddles spaced equally around a center that contains the hole for stringing. When several of these sunburst beads are strung consecutively, they fit against each other in an interlocking pattern.

The other type of bead that is also effective for this Christmas craft is called the tri bead or propeller bead. It has three rounded bumps arranged around the stringing hole. Like the sunburst beads, the tri beads interlock when strung consecutively. For the most sparkly and attractive Christmas ornaments, get tri beads and/or sunburst beads in translucent colors of red, green, and clear. The tri beads can also be found in metallic gold and silver which can be used in this Christmas craft as well.

Pipe cleaners can be found in silver and gold tinsel as well as chenille of all colors. For the Christmas craft, the best colors to use are the metallics and Christmas colors. The beads cover the pipe cleaners, but the ends will need to be twisted together and made into hangers, so they show.

Anyone, even small children, can string these beads on pipe cleaners. Bend up the end of the pipe cleaner so the beads don't fall off. The pipe cleaner works like a needle, making a needle unnecessary. For best results, show the children how to alternate colors when stringing, or start a pattern of three colors. When the beads are strung on the pipe cleaners, they can be bent into different Christmas shapes. For instance, string red and clear beads alternately, then bend down one end of the pipe cleaner for a candy cane shape. Or alternate red and green beads and form a circle for a wreath. Use red pipe cleaner to form a small bow to decorate the wreath. Form a hanger for the Chirstmas craft or simply slip the circle over a branch of the tree.

If you experiment with clear beads and silver pipe cleaners, you can make some beautiful snowflake or star ornaments. Snowflake designs can be twisted of silver pipe cleaner only, without the beads for a simple but pretty decoration.

Bead and pipe cleaner ornaments are a Christmas craft you will find yourself using every year. Children and their parents will both appreciate this simple yet pretty Christmas craft...


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Clinton Jones * [-back-]
"I have never been in a situation where having money made it worse."

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College Fund * [-back-]
A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he had run out of cash.

Mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?'"

"Uh, oh yeah, OK," responded the kid.

So Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book.

When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?

Mom said, "Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20, and the other for $1000"

"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you crazy???'"

"Don't worry hon," Mom said, as she kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in Chapter 19!"

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Come on, is this Really Legal? * [-back-]

Absolutely..!

You can print as much money as you want, anytime you wish.

You don't need anyone's permission or our software to print your own money... More Info...


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Contests * [-back-]
Here's our growing list of "Top Contests" from around the world. You can't win if you don't enter. So enter a few everyday, who knows you could be a "Contest Millionaire"

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Cullen Hightower * [-back-]
Money was invented so we could know exactly how much we owe.

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Dollar Hack * [-back-]
Downloadable mini corporate logos you can print right on your currency using an ink jet printer.

Dollar Hack lets you print corporate logos directly onto dollar bills - making it appear as if Disney, Microsoft, Marlboro, and seven other multi-nationals are paid corporate sponsors - of money!

A US bill has an average "lifetime" of 1.5 to 9 years and is exchanged thousands of times. Each bill you print with dollar_hack shows the REAL connection between corporations and government to a huge audience.

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Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) * [-back-]
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?

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Dorothy Parker * [-back-]
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

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Douglas Adams * [-back-]
"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."

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Duck TV * [-back-]
Dim the lights, grab your popcorn and watch Trouble and Bruiser go for a swim. They were just a year old when this video was shot. Bruiser has since passed on to the great Duck Pond in the Sky.....click here for a look see...

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Duck Trivia * [-back-]
Strut you stuff like a duck and show us how much you know about the Duck...click here

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Eric Butterworth * [-back-]
Prosperity is a way of living and thinking, and not just money or things. Poverty is a way of living and thinking, and not just a lack of money or things.

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Eric S. Raymond * [-back-]
You cannot motivate the best people with money. Money is just a way to keep score The best people in any field are motivated by passion.

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Errol Flynn * [-back-]
Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure.

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Euro Bill Tracker * [-back-]
Tracking Euro notes around the world. Each user enters the serial numbers and location information for each note they obtain into EuroBillTracker.

Euro banknotes and coins were put into circulation on January 1 2002 and we have been tracking notes since then.

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Even Birds Like Good Joke * [-back-]
Ever had a day like this? click here to take a look. by: Dede Apfelbaum


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Facts about U.S. Money * [-back-]
from the U.S. Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, the official everything you ever wanted to know about U.S. Currency...

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Famous Money Quotes * [-back-]
Lots of famous folk, have lots to say about money. Sometimes silly, sometimes provacative, always worth reading. Take a look and see where those famous words about money originated...

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Famous Money Quotes * [-back-]
Lots of famous folk, have lots to say about money. Sometimes silly, sometimes provacative, always worth reading. Take a look and see where those famous words about money originated...

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Federal Reserve Map * [-back-]
Map of the Federal Reserve Banking System by state. Very interesting if your a geek in a dark corner wondering where the green stuff in your wallet came from.

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Fern Naito * [-back-]
When you've got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow.

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Francis Bacon (1561-1626) * [-back-]
If money be not thy servant, it will be thy master. The covetous man cannot so properly be said to possess wealth, as that may be said to possess him.

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Franklin Jones * [-back-]
"A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist."

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Freebies, Free Stuff, Something for Nothing * [-back-]
Everyone likes "Something For Nothing" that's why there's so many great Freebie websites. But, we've done your homework for you and these our our #1 Picks from around the world...

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Funny Money Banks - "Humorous Artwork" * [-back-]
Chris Hammack has been carving and sculpting the "Lighter Side" of Life for almost twenty years.  He started drawing cartoons when he was just big enough to hold a pencil. 

When a roofing accident left him unable to work for several months in 1983, he began to bring his cartoons to life in wood.

Chris has won many awards Nationally and Internationally for his humorous artwork, but he is quick to point out that the biggest reward he ever receives is a smile of a chuckle when people see his creations.  He currently lives in a quaint Colorado Town in the Rocky Mountains. More Info...

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Funny Money Contests... * [-back-]
Coming soon...

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Funny Money Museum and More * [-back-]
See hundreds of cool "Funny Money Bills" from artists around the world in our "Funny Money Museum." Also presented are many great links for other cool museums in many countries.

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Funny Money Parties * [-back-]
Experience the thrill and excitement of live casino action at your next party. Of course the funn is real and the money is funny, so everyone goes home a winner.

Theme parties are the best way to ensure your next private party or business promotion will be a hit. These featured companies offer professional personnel and gaming equipment for your next casion night theme party...

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Funny Money Sellers * [-back-]
We didn't invent "Funny Money," but we are the "Funny Money Bank" and it's our goal to exchange "Funny Money" from around the world under one roof. This is our giant list of All the "Funny Money Sellers" we have collected to date.

Don't forget to visit our Funny Money Museum in our Museums section to see some great "Funny Money" from countless artists around the globe.

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Garth Brooks * [-back-]
You aren't wealthy until you have something money can't buy.

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George Bernard Shaw * [-back-]
Lack of money is the root of all evil.

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George Raft * [-back-]
Part of the $10 million I spent on gambling, part on booze and part on women. The rest I spent foolishly.

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Henry Ford 1863-1947 * [-back-]
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.

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How Money Gets Circulated * [-back-]
How U.S. Currency Gets into Circulation. As of December 2002, currency in circulation—that is, U.S. coins and paper currency in the hands of the public—totaled about $675 billion.

The amount of cash in circulation has risen rapidly in recent decades and much of the increase has been caused by demand from abroad. The Federal Reserve estimates that the majority of the cash in circulation today is outside the United States.

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How Rich Are We? * [-back-]
One day a father took his son to a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family.

When they got back from their trip, the father asked his son,

"How was the trip?"

"Very good Dad!" the boy replied.

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Yeah!" the boy replied.

"And what did you learn?" said the father.

The boy answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon."

When the little boy was finished, his father was speechless....

His son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are!"

You see, it's true, it all depends on the way you look at things?

If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life - you've got everything!

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Howard Hughes * [-back-]
"I'm not a paranoid derranged millionaire. Goddamit, I'm a billionaire."

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Is This A Get Rich Quick Scheme..? * [-back-]

Absolutely Not..!

This is a Joke dude, gim'e a break will ya?

Yeah right, like all those get rich quick ads that got your attention last week. How many of those worked for anyone you know?

...This, really works, guaranteed, your money back...
...I made $12,000.00 yesterday...

Yada, Yada, Yada... such crap eh..?

No dude, this is a Joke. A gag, a novelty, funny stuff, a laugh, little colored pieces of paper dude. You'll just have a lotta fun, impress your friends and advertise yourself or your business if you choose.

We just had to play with you a little, heck we are just a bunch of clowns and if you thought our FREE SOFTWARE was some kind of Get Rich Quick Scheme, well you've been had, the jokes on you and you've just had your first laugh on us.

So come join us for years of even better laughs, download our free software today. If you do, we promise loads of fun and regular laughs will follow you whever you travel around the world.


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Is This Really FREEware..? * [-back-]

Absolutely..!

Did we for get to mention it's not just free, it's TOTALLY FREE. About the only way it could be more free is if we paid you to take it, or we could reach out from your computer screen right now and throw it at you.

What don't you understand about FREE..? I mean, OK, how about, no charge, gratis, gift, do not return, give us no money, take it and run like hell, don't pay us a dime, keep it for no money....

Any way you say it, you take our software, you give us nothing in return. How about this, just get it free right now and if you try to give us any money for it, we'll refund you a Million Dollars* for every US Dollar you send us.

Seriously, we'll refund you one of "our Million Dollar Bills"* for every US Dollar you send us. That's how committed we are to not taking your money for our FREE SOFTWARE.

It's free and you must not pay for it. Got it..?

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Is This SHAREware..? * [-back-]

Nope...

Funamentally, SHAREware is software that has some important feature disabled, or other limitation that makes it of "Limted Value" beyond a demonstration of what the paid for commercial software can do.